Today was assignment hand-in day. I had an asssignment due at 2.00pm, so obviously I panicked when I woke up at 1.30pm. It was a good rush and actually got me quite awake (considering my birthday WAS the day before and shots came my way all night...) so successfully my assignment was in, and on godm damned time too. Next thing to worry about now is the presentation I gotta give at quarter to five.

"I think I'll get stoned" I thought to myself, as I stared at the bag of skunk in front of me as I searched drastically for my notes... It was around 3.00pm that I started to get really quite stoned indeed, and chilled off with some pasties and doses of Futurama...

"Shit" was the next word that came into my head at around 4.30, as I realized I hadn't done the page of notes we had to hand in with the presentation. "Bollocksy bugger" were the next words to utter from my mouth.

The presentation was like a sweaty nightmare in front of a scouse web tutor who was high off his tits, as he sat next to two empty thermos flasks he'd sucked dry through the day... He slated us, and away I went, quite happy with how it all went.

After the relief of that, I felt like getting a bit more stoned, and so I did. And to this present minute of 3.fiftysomething,am, I am still high as a kite in my room, just finished my pizza which we got free cos it took over an hour (oh yes my droogies...). Contemplating playing "hearts" on my computer while listening to a combo of Incubus' weird old SCIENCE stuff, Rammstien and, of course, a nice relaxing bout of Pantera to soothe the demons within before my brain rests prior to another tomorrow of disaster and getting well fat while slurping the booziest of beverages in a quest for everlasting drunkeness, or even a chance of imporoving our already immaculate social skills.

Just read Laura's latest blog actually. It hurts so much when I get on that train. For the entire journey back last weekend, I only thought about bad things, cos it was the only way I could stop myself thinking so much about Laura, after having to leave her YET AGAIN after another incredible weekend with her. I feel so guilty sometimes about the situation because Laura deserves somebody who can be there for her all the time. I'm determined not to lose her though, and I don't think there's any signs of otherwise thinking from her. She makes me so happy. And when I'm here on my own, stoned in my room at 4.00am, I think about how lucky I am to be with Laura, followed closely by how unlucky I am because I can't fucking see her enough. Still, I feel so strongly about our relationship. It's going so well, and we seem so good for each other that nothing else seems to matter sometimes.

Yeah I best just try and sober myself up cos I won't sleep otherwise.

Shit, no pop, no water, no bread... no anything. Looks like I'm drinkin' whatever's my parents got me for my birthday. Oh look, they got my Jack Daniels. "Hello Mr Jack"

a lot's happened since my last entry. Probably because yet again I haven't updated this in a lengthy length of time... Ah well, here goes...

Following the bad news came good news and joy of the same subject. I don't wanna talk about that anymore though cos it's in the past...

I wanna talk about my weekend. What the hell was I doing? So Saturday night I decided I couldn't be arsed with Warrington, and called up Jonny to see if he was in the manc and up for some booziness. So there I went with a bag full of Fosters and an expensive digital camera I borrowed from the college cause I have to take pictures for an assignment due in next week...

We supped loadsa beer and wine, took loadsa shite photos of each other and we went to get "fucked at the kitch" at half ten. Just before that though, the camera broke. I don't know how, but it did. "Shit" was the first word that came to mind...

After the kitch we stayed out, going from club to club in Manchester handing out flyers for a drum n bass night to drunken mancunian twats. All in the name of saving Jonny's ass from being fired... We got back to Jonny's at about 6 and drunk some more...

Next day I got drunk again with my bro, basically because the trains back to Warrington weren't running and I was stuck in the ghetto. Big boozines and a bit of "Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas" later, and I crashed out at about 3.30. Stu had to get up at 8 for a lecture, which meant I, bleary eyed as fuck, had to go home. I just about got back, feeling whack, and I remembered I had a fucked camera in my bag which should've been returned on Friday... Whoops...

I think I got away with it, but they kicked off cos I changed the batteries and didn't keep their rechargeable ones which were in there... Whoops...

Time to start doing some work as it's reading week. Went to bed instead. Whoops...

Should hav stayed in last night to make a start. Didn't. Got drunk. Whoops...

I now have two more days to complete a shitload of work before I go back to Kendal at the weekend for my birthday. Bugger...

Good work Dave you organised bastard.

I miss you Laura

End.

The past 2 weeks have been so strange.

I can't even remember most of it, for reasons which are probably quite obvious especially to the  most supertrained eye looking at a student life through a microscope, and analysiing it for 12 years and producing a life work...

I've been drinking too much, smoking too much, eating very rarely, and when I do it's unhealthy microwaved junk shit food. I took a good long look at myself when I got back from Kendal on Sunday. That weekend was the best I'd had in a while. OK, so the Saturday I had to walk 2 miles to a party after the taxi driver took us to the wrong place AND round in circles before charging me £20, and when I got there, Laura is lying down on a sofa nearly passed out.  Pete laughed straight away, but I know he didn't mean it in that way. I still remember how hard she still gripped my hand as she fell asleep, she really didn't want to let go. It was the most amazing thing. I had a great night afterwards though, even though it certainly wasn't your average party, and I'm definitely not going into details.

Since I left Kendal again and came back to Warry, and after looking at myself in great detail and getting kind of pissed off with how I'm treating myself, I've been very happy. I look at pictures of Laura and nearly cry with joy that I'm with her. I get messages from Pete, Omar, Matt, Jim, Hairy Matt, Jolley Rick and Adam from Preston all day and we banter back and forth over the means of webcam, even though their rooms are no more than a stone's throw away... Quite sad maybe, but hey, that's the way we like it. Then we go get pissed. And order pizza at 1am. It's becoming a bit of a routine. Work isn't getting done. I may be failing a module already as i missed an important IT tutorial you have to take or that's the whole YEAR fucked. Uni is so strict, and so harsh, but it's always your fault if something fucks up or you miss something. It really is, that isn't sarcasm. And I'm fucking up on a regular basis at the moment...

So tonight I recieve some news which nearly made me pass out on the spot, and later made me contemplate what the fuck I'm doing full stop. I can't do anything about it, that's the worst thing. I'm scared out of my body, and my mind is spinning into various unknown directions. I don't know what to do next when it comes round to the cruch. In the worst case scenario, I really am fucked. And I mean fucked. As in, Dave's life is done with. Uni's done with. I'm fearing the worst, because whenever something like this happens, I get the bad luck. I never get a clean break. I have a house party behind my parents' back and get away with it, only for somebody to end up in hospital and the cops coming round to the house to search my room for drugs. And my parents disowning me for weeks, or even months...

I managed to stop myself drinking after the news, which was a good thing, because I possibly wouldn't be here to type this now. I've got my fingers crossed anyway, but no matter what happens, I guess it will happen for a reason. Some good must come from everything, because I don't think I'm a bad person, and bad things apparently don't happen to good people.

Apart from that, yeah I'm absolutely fine thanks. And my heart goes out to John Kerry, a good guy who has been wrongly done to because of a tired old system which everybody refuses to change because it's "tradition," and because that's how it says in the constitution.

Fuck the constitution.

I got real drunk tonight. The only problem being i'M on anti biotivcs and I have no idea gow their gonna react to me being quite pissed up. Who knows i may even throw. Who knows i may even die - although not very olikely...

Anyway - I miss Kendal a whole bunch and if i was pissed up butr still in kendal there'd be hell to pay put it ttat way... Think about it...

I* love Kendal... Woooooooooo!

Life isn't fair sometimes.

For example, last wednesday I came back to Kendal and me and Laura had the best day ever together. Just being with her again made me smile all the time like a ridiculous drug addict. It was like some kind of fairy story, except I hate fairy stories, so it was actually more like... well... an incredible day, simple as that. I haven't stopped thinking about that day ever since.

Now the unfair part... Days like that aren't here very often. I live in Warrington. That's what isn't fair. Somehow fate (although i hate and dont believe in fate) has dished me and Laura a slap by keeping us apart and we have no choice. Not fair.

What else isn't fair? The college internet has been fucked all weekend so I haven't been able to do diddly squat. It's back on now, but can I look on Laura's blog? No. Why? "Excessive Phrase limit exceeded - this page or resource has been blocked from use on campus." FUCK. How's this for phrase limit...?

WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK TWATTYBOLLOCKS.

Ban me you bastards.

I got pissed off earlier

Laura called me up and was quite upset. I don't know exactly what's going on but do know that bullshit is getting spread about Laura and that tosspot who came onto her which I know for a fact isn't true. People who are supposed to be supporting Laura are following the bullshit. It makes me sick.

Laura's told me before about her past and how she has cheated on people before. That didn't bother me or phase me in any way because what me and Laura have i something special, and something worth holding on to. She feels the same way and I know for a fact she wouldn't cheat on me. I trust her.

She explained the whole story about what happened with Mr Dickhead and I believe her to the word. I really can't understand why anyone would first of all start such bullshit, and secondly choose to believe it.

Whoever's doing this, stop it. Because Laura doesn't deserve your mistrust.

Man I feel shitty. My fresher's flu has evolved into my best friend Mr. Chest Infection. He visits me 2 or 3 times a year and reminds me that I have a throat made of glass. I've missed 2 two-hour lectures today already, which isn't going to help me at all seeing as I'm already behind on my reading... How depressing... *coughs* I'm trying to get myself better for Wednesday cos I'm coming back to Kendal through the day, and I'd hate for Laura to catch what I've got, because it sucks. *coughs yet again*

Went to Manchester again on Saturday - that place is starting to feel like my second home. It's amazing that in Warrington there are three times as many Wankers with their trousers tucked into their socks than there are in Manchester. I'm toying with the idea of making everyone who isn't a scally tuck their trousers into their socks but wear a defining rock/metal t-shirt. The scallys wouldn't have a clue what to do. Their image would be fucked. Maybe they'd all start skating...

Hang on, who gives a fuck...

I'm also now toying with the idea of going/not going to my final lecture of the day, which is a group study seminar thing. I worked my bollocks off on Saturday to prepare for this lesson and did loads of work, all of which would be wasted if I didn't go. But then again, I'm ill and I can't fucking well be arsed.

*coughs* *realises I'm swearing a lot today* *doesn't care*

Right, well I'm going back to bed and hopefully the decision to go or not go will come to me in a dream. Either that or I'll sleep through it, which would provide the answer nice and clear.

*coughs*

Hows it going all..?

It was beach party theme at the bar tonight. Obviously I wore my funky shirt with a pineapple on the back, complete with long skate shorts and flame boots. Man I looked sexy. The music was still the same though. In fact it was worse cos usually there's a fair bit of indie and punk stuff on in the bar, but tonight was dance shite. Then we all had to move into the bunker, which has a 1am license on wednesdays, and it felt like a fucking 18th. Livin' on a prayer, summer of 69, dirty, build me up buttercup... Obviously we fucking loved it cos we were sloshed...

Met a dude tonight who looks exactly like the lead singer from The Music. Except, he loves ska! Finally I've met a fellow Capdown/Farse/Less Than Jake fan. And to top it off he's Irish. How good is that... He plays guitar aswell and knows loads of ska... Hmmmmm, band...? Methinks so...

*kisses Laura because I miss her more than ever so far.* It's incredible how the me and Laura story has unfolded. It's like some kind of fairytale at the moment. Being here is like someone's testing us to see how we can last. I would love it to last all the way, and I hope she feels the same way. I could never cheat on anyone, especially Laura, and having texted or called each other every day since I left Kendal, it still feels so right. And I couldn't be happier about that cos she has become so special to me even though we haven't been together that long. Man, I miss her so much... Thankfully I said I'd go back and see her on Wednesday. I can't wait just to see her again. The thing is, I know coming back home would make me miss it so much more, but I can't keep away. I love it here, but I love Laura up there. Thus you see my predicament.

Shit, I gotta start my assignments pretty soon. Was gonna do some work today, but then Laura mentioned coming to see her (jokingly) and that put ideas into my head, and then momentarily afterwards Pete and Omar knocked on my door. I'd just got up and was still almost naked, and they said "come to Manchester." So I did. Went to Aflleck's (had to be done) then randomly got questioned about self image by some film students at Manchester Uni. Was excellent. They asked us who we'd most like to look like, and where the guys said stuff like Tom Cruise, I said Carmen Electra. Was funny. I think I'm gonna be famous in the Man Uni film next year. What an achievement...

That's about it, although I can't keep my Warrington ass away from Manchester at the moment. I'm going there again on Saturday night for a mad piss up with Jonny (Shire), and hopefully my bro should be out too. Me and Pet are going as Omar's going back to Birmingham fo the weekend. (yes my 2 best mates here are brummies! - Quite funny: "Olroyte Dayve...")

Anyway, enough of my crap. Going to bed now, cos I have a lecture at stupid o clock tomorrow. I best do some work or I aint gonna last a fucking month here!

Peace and love. x

*finds tenner in dirty jeans*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A! To the bar!

*Listening to The Pixies - Where Is My Mind to drown out hard house from across the hall*

I've been trying virtually none stop to update Papscene with no luck whatsoever over the past few days, until yesterday I nearly gave up completely and started coming to terms with a possible life without Papscene...

I tried again this morning. I tried everything I could and nothing worked. I suddenly started feeling quite homesick for the first time, possibly due to the fact that today were my first real lectures and I really CAN NOT BE ARSED to get back into doing serious work. I've had two lectures today already and I still have another one left. I nearly fell asleep countless times in the previous two, which were shit, mainly because my tutors or boring, slow bastards who can't string a sentence together. Also because they assume I know how to use an Apple Mac. I fucking hate Macs. They drive me insane. I just want so badly to right-click and select "copy" and "paste" instead of having to arse around...

My God, I don't think I've ever ranted about a computer before... It makes me feel like not whatsoever a computer gimp. It makes me feel really really cool...

I don't know what the plan is for tonight. I wanna drink seeing as I don't start til 11 tomorrow, but the funds are knackered and I don't have much beer. One can to be exact. That's knackered then.

Talked to Laura yesterday. Just hearing her voice sent tingles down my spine again. It felt like it was the first time we met and I got all shy and didn't know what to say all of a sudden... I know I've brought Laura into the conversation every blog so far, and for that I apologise as I'm sure you're all bored of hearing it by now.

Anyway, off I trot to put my pasta in the microwave before some 3rd year scally puts his baked potato in there...

Oh, by the way, I did get Papscene working again. It was like by magic or something. Just worked. Which makes my smile more slanty in the more happy direction...

Peace and love.

yep, me and matt went to manchester last night to watch embrace. he told me on the way there that he didnt have any tickets. "there'll be touts" he says. there were, but they asked for £50 a ticket as demand was so high. i was ready for sacking it off, but as matt is such a massive embrace fan he paid for half my ticket as well as his own! what a legend...

the band were incredible though. i was kinda gutted we got there so late cos dogs die in hot cars played and we missed them, but embrace (live on radio one aswell!) really impressed me. They were kinda cocky and bragging about their album being number one and everything, but a good gig was had. Afterwards we met my brother in an indie club called 5th avenue. Was packed. Got sacked off. Went to another club and came across Petay and Omar (2 more guys here at uni), and as Pete was so wasted he got us all 5 aftershocks EACH (there were 6 of us!), but on the grounds we drunk them one after the other. The results were hellish...

After sleeping on the floor at Stu's (ow) we spent the day in Manchester. Went to Afleck's Palace (of course) and got Laura a couple of special items which I hope she's gonna love, then spent the rest of the day in Riley's playing 9 ball pool on a table with a big naked woman on it. Surprising how offputting it can be really... I got the hiccups for the first of THREE seperate times that day, then off we fucked back to Warrington. Straight to the bar for comedy night. Which was shit. So we went over to Jim's and watched countless episodes of Family Guy with ourselves and Mr Jack Daniels as company, again with hellish results...

Which makes it surprising how I can type so well and acurately. I'm kinda tired, but tomorrow (apart from eating loads of bacon) I plan to lounge in a bed-related stylee whilst re-hydrating courtesy of my Aldi Rola Cola. Who knows, I may even suffer from a bout of mad-bastardness and update the forgotten oracle named Papscene.

By the way, if anyone's on MSN and has version 6.2 (the latest version), get in touch with me anytime. papperoo@hotmail.com is the address thingy you put in. Oh yeah, I have a webcam too so all is not lost, you can still see my pretty face and hear my lemmy-tinged, angelic, Matt Bellamy shaming supervoice.

Bedtime. Bye.

it was pizza night at the bar last night, kind of a chillout thing cos tonight we're going to manchester for some craziness...

Anyway, I immediately know I'm going to fail this degree, basically because I kind of called my tutor "slow" and "a bit too scouse" to one of my friends, completely unaware at first that he was stood right behind me. I made a quick exit to the pool hall... It doesn't help that earlier in the day I was late to the first introduction lecture to the guy's course, and that he busted me in a world of my own when he was being all slow and scouse, talking crap and the like. I think he likes me...

I spent most of yesterday afternoon talking to the guy downstairs in my hall (Matt) on MSN, and eventually he had to show off and get his webcam out. It's pretty sad to think that we spent hours talking shit and arseing about on the webcam. Highlight was when he took it through to the guy next door to him (Peter - a complete piss head) who was still in bed, before delivering a nice big slap in his face, completey caught on webcam. I'm going to get one myself next time we brave the long walk to the Cockhedge shopping centre (yes, cockhedge!). It would be excellent so you guys back home could (if you want) see my ugly mug whenever you want. *looks at Laura as if to say "you buy one too...*

Speaking of Laura, I can't wait til she comes and visits. There's a big posh ball thing next week that some of the guys' girlfriends are showing up to, but guttingly Laura can't make it. As long as I see her as soon as possible for a good length of time I'll be happy. I seriously miss her...

And I'm running out of summer fruit crush AGAIN. I wonder if I can be nice enough to Jim so he'll drive us down - I can't be arsed scaling such a distance...

Ciao for now.

I can't fucking beleive this.

I've just been sat here in my big new uni room typing for fucking ages - and entire insight into my new life at uni for you all to look mongified at while reading before your eyes crust over with sheer boredom. I thought I'd finish it off with one of them smiley things (y'know, just to be nice and everything) and as soon as I click on one the entire fucking thing goes "I know what'll piss Dave off, let's get the fuck off the screen never to return."

Complete waste of half an hour.

Anyway - I'll try again: I've been here at uni a few days now. Warrington is VERY Kendal, and the campus kinda smells funny, but it's all good. After a challenging and shakey start, I've made friends with a lot of the guys over in hall 7, one of which went to college with Duckhunt (!), and there's a ladykiller called Jim who plays guitar, a really massive guy on my course called Matt who has size 14 feet and likes to drink pure sugar from my Peter Kay mug before dropping it down our hall stairs... *cries*

The thing is, those guys all live on the same floor of the same hall, so obviously they're all already best mates. I've been put in a slightly shite situation seeing as everyone in my hall apart from one (really boring) guy is either a second or third year. So when I moved in everyone there knew each other. And they listen to house and dance music. So I'm on my own as the 18 year old little ska kid. This means that so far I haven't found a "best friend" as such like everyone else has. Doesn't bother me too much though cos it means I have time to myself to do things like this, and have a good long think about Laura, who incedentally I've been thinking about every minute of every day since I left Kendal. This puts into perspective for me exactly how strongly I feel about her, I really miss her.

But still, I'm here for fun and overdrafts. Myself, Matt and Omar went mattress surfing down the hall 7 stairs last night (painful), then we got busted attempting to take the fire hose to the top floor and spray the townies below. The some bitch 3rd year came and accused me and Omar of setting off fire alarms and that "people like us should be thrown off campus." Omar treated her to some of the tom sauce in his burger to the face and away we ran to Jim's for more vodka. I dont know exactly when we got back but needless to say it was silly o clock.

*puts on mixtwitch to drown out dance shite which is surrounding my room from four different music sources on my floor*

I still haven't had beans, and I plan to never eat beans while I stay here, purely because it's such a bloody stereotype! However, I have been living on bacon, cheese and toasted bread related products as well as spagetti hoops (smartprice style) and shit asda pop (not roller cola).

*stops to remind one of the third years how to spell "white" - excellent*

Anyway, this is probably getting boring and I've soon gots to start drinking. My hall's having a punch party tonight before everyone goes to the bar. Unfortunately Brandon Block is on tonight *spits* and it's £3.50 to get in (providing you have a voucher which i dont have...) so I'm looking for room/hall related alternatives...

Laura, if you're reading this - you're a thousand times more beautiful than the girls here. And they're all scousers or brummies - the two least attractive accents in the uk. I miss you loads and the sooner you come up and visit the better.

To everyone, keep in touch by leaving messages here and keep checking back if you actually are bothered how I'm getting on. Keep it Kendalian.